You sometimes look at human stars and what you think is: "Wow, I would like to be as confident as he or she is!"

You know what's funny? Many of these stars are actually very insecure people inside. They are so focused on the perception that others have about them that they put a mask over their faces and play a role. In many cases, their confidence is a big smokescreen. But they rely on the external projection of their self-confidence and play the role as part of their fame.

Wearing a mask is not limited to famous people, though. Most of the ordinary folks also play a role for the outside world. They want to be someone who they are not. They spend a big part of their lives thinking about what other people might think or say about them. True self-esteem comes into your life when it is really no longer important what others think or say about you. As long as you think hard about what people think of you - and you act in response to it - you are not confident about yourself.

Of course, it is important in life to get feedback and recognition from others, but never do anything just because others expect it, or just because you want to know what other people see in you. As long as you do good things and your actions come from your heart, recognition and positive feedback will come to you automatically, without you having to bend over backwards for it.

Here are 9 tips for you to get more more self-confidence:

1. Don't think about what other people think of you, just be yourself. You'll only be as FREE as a bird in life if you don't care what other people think or say about you, even if it is a complete fairy tale. As long as what you do helps other people, stand up for it, even if you fly alone in the sky.

2. Don't drag yourself down! Do not make yourself smaller than you are! Every time you talk or think negatively about yourself or your skills, you increase the chance of destroying your self-confidence. Stop the destructive inner voice. When the destructive voice begins to speak, give it the voice of Mickey Mouse.

3. Never, ever compare yourself with other people! There will always be people in your life who have more skills, wealth and prosperity than you. If you constantly compare yourself to others, that will lead to an internal struggle in which there can be only one loser: you! Constantly comparing yourself with other people is one of the keys to being unhappy.

4. Everyone has had successes in his life that he is proud of. You, too, have had these moments of success in your life. Make a list of your success-treasures. Include even those successes that seem unimportant to you today, like courses passed at university, promotions or reaching certain goals in life. Whenever you feel low, draw these moments back into your consciousness and enjoy them again.

5. Accept the compliments from other people with a "thank you". If you say: "Oh, it was nothing" or imply in any other way that you are not really worthy of a compliment, you make yourself look smaller and minimise your self-esteem. Accept compliments gratefully and if it was a great success, put it on your treasure list of successes.

6. Make sure to surround yourself with supportive, positive people. Build up a positive environment. If you are surrounded by negative people who keep destroying your ideas, it is very difficult to grow your confidence. If you're surrounded by optimistic, positive people who raise your spirits and make you strong, your self-confidence will grow and prosper.

7. Grab your best friend and a stopwatch. In a positive frame of mind, tell your friend for three minutes what you appreciate, like or love about him and why he means so much to you. Just let everything positive flow from your heart. After 3 minutes, switch sides and let him or her do the same for you. Do this exercise with various friends. Stay focused on the positive feelings that arise within you. Repeat the exercise often. If you have a partner, do this exercise at least once a week with him or her and true miracles will develop in your partnership.

8. Begin to ACT! An increase in self-confidence does not come by itself. Only action will give you more self-confidence. How does it feel when you finally do the work you meant to do ages ago, even if you are scared? Go through your fears, then they will die a certain death and your confidence will grow.

9. Develop more self-confidence by developing your personality. There are many wonderful books and seminars to develop your personality. More self-confidence is also one of the topics in my UIP seminar.

I've met many people in my life, with and without self-confidence, and I have made an important discovery: increasing self-confidence is one of the things people can learn, even at an advanced age, if they really want to.

I wish you a life that is always filled with real confidence.

Copyright © 2010 by Mike Düring! Duplication expressly allowed only with reference to www.mikeduering.com! Translation by Berend Lange of BlueCrane Translations

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